Tuesday, 5 January 2016

It's 2016! And guess what . . .



I'M STILL HERE !!!!

Or as the wonderful Tom Lubbock called his account of the last part of his life, Until Further Notice, I am Alive.

Which is amazingly good news, from my perspective. To be able to wish you all a Happy New Year was something I had no real hopes of ever doing again 11 months ago, and the fact that I can not only do so, but do so feeling I have quite a bit of life still left is - well, it's brilliant, to be honest. Thank you being there to listen. And thanks being so much of the reason I'm still going strong.

I'm not going to lie, though; the last few weeks have been fairly challenging, and while Christmas Day itself was just lovely, I'm very glad to have got through the week following and back to something like normal. After a brain scan result on 14th Dec that was much more positive than we all feared (palliative radiotherapy had slowed everything down, and no more new tumours seemed to have appeared since October)  Dr Kumar, the brain oncologist, suggested that we have another little go at reducing my steroids after the festive season. Sadly, it didn't go too well . Perhaps it's partly that I fear coming off them as much as I'd love to come off them. After all, it would be nice to see my own body and face again under all this blubber.

Perhaps I just need a nice placebo. But whatever the reason, after a day without them, I just couldn't get up, and felt desperately sick. And then I was desperately sick.  But hey, no hair to have to hold back, eh? Silver linings!!

Thank God for Ellie and Mike, and my lovely District Nurses who always make everything better! Under the stairs we now have a special emergency medication bag which they keep supplies in for such times . . . normal prescription boxes but in neatly wrapped packages bearing messages such as "For Pain", "For Nausea" , and - my personal favourite - "For Anxiety" . I expect to open them and see brightly coloured potion bottles, like something from Alice in Wonderland - "EAT ME!" "DRINK ME!". "INJECT ME!" Which is exactly what the nurses do so well. No time at all and I was able to keep the second lot of medication down where it should be, and then .... I fell asleep. And I stayed asleep. For hours. And hours. In fact, I haven't spent so much time asleep for, well, months. I might have to read the bedsores book which came in my handy pack, and only just escaped the recycling bin - not so proud now are you Mrs?!

Special visitors at Daytime Hospice the week before Christmas.
And today it's a week later, and I managed to get to my weekly treat - Daytime Hospice! Which I realise doesn't necessarily sound like most people's idea of a weekly treat, but that's probably because you haven't tried it.  My lovely MacMillan nurse Heather referred me, and today has been my 3rd visit. I've been pampered, done some art, done armchair exercise to Glenn Miller and Tai Chi to - oh, what was it? Something suitably classical, anyway -  been fed beautiful, digestible food, spent time at the service in the peaceful little chapel, and had lovely chats with staff, volunteers and other patients. What's not to like???   In fact I like it so much, that while I was sitting in chapel the thought popped into my head "Maybe I could come and volunteer here when I'm better?" Which made me laugh, not to mention the unseen crowd of Saints and Angels, who quickly pointed out that if I intended getting as well as that, then I was holding a place under false pretences!

But I can live with the laughter of Saints and Angels. Especially when I didn't really expect to be here at this point at all.

Time for a little kip now. More soon . . .

Happy 2016 everyone xxxxxxx







25 comments:

  1. And I am as pleased to have you around as you are to be here. Hopefully for much longer too. Luv ya. X

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  2. So Happy that you are entering another year!! I continue to pray that against all odds these tumours will decide to give up the fight, no matter what kind of radio therapy you're having God can use it!! XXXX I also thank God for your honesty in the reality of your situation and pray you find some joy in each day XXXX big hugs

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    1. Thanks Tracy - for all your love and prayers xxxxxx

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  3. Dear best Bible Scholar ever..... glad to be with you in a new year. And God is with you as ever. Love to you and Mike. God bless you.

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    1. And you and yours Eileen! Very worried about poor Cjelston this morning though. a little picture to cheer him up in the attic . . .

      https://www.statravel.co.uk/travel-blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Reindeer_Xmas_620.jpg

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  4. What a happy post, Debbie. Sorry the drug reduction didn't go well. Glad you still have a sense of humour. Welcome to 2016. You never know what lies ahead. :-) Love, xxxx

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    1. Thanks Helen! Love to you and Ian, not to mention those beautiful dogs . . . x

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  5. I bloody love you Debbie Peatman! Xxxxxxx

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    1. I second this. You are fab xxx

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    2. I second this. You are fab xxx

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    3. And I bloody love you too! xxxxxxxxx

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  6. Humbling and delightful to read Debbie. You have a wonderful perspective on an uncertain landscape. You are exceedingly generous as you share your journey.

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    1. The generosity is all yours - thank you for listening :) xx

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  7. And happy new year to you too. Hope you are visited by wise men today. Don't know what that means. Get back to that book. Love, Steve Hoyland

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    1. oh my word Steve! I know what it means!!! You'll not believe it - I'l email you soon! xx

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  8. Happy New Year to you too Debbie. Wonderful to hear that your sense of humour is not only in tact but bubbling! Sleep can be an amazing restorer. The Day Hospice sounds good. Perhaps the District Nurses are the Wise Women?!

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  9. it is hard to put in to words how powerful your use of words are and how much i get from them and i thank you so much for allowing me to follow your journey and hope too continuing to follow it 2016

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  10. Oh wow! Such a great blog. So pleased that you didn't even think you'd be here for the start of the year. We will as ever, continue to pray for you. I have another friend who also didn't expect to make this year and she is still here and telling awful jokes! Thank you for all you write.

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  11. Beautiful Debbie. Sending you much love.

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  12. Splendid to know that you are here (there), Debbie, and clearly in such strong spirit. Hope that our post-Christmas card reached you. Yours is the only blog that I follow (have ever followed!) - and your words much the wisest and most worthwhile to read and absorb. Gareth joins me in sending remembrance of friendship past and continuing love present to you and Mike and family, Louise xxx

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    1. Fantastic to hear from you!! Yes the card did reach us - are you on emai / facebook? Not to worry if not will send repy soon. Much love to you all xxxxxxx

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  13. Glad the card made it, and good to "blog chat"! My email is louise.gordon@wolfson.ox.ac.uk. Too much of a luddite for facebook! Happy to back-and-forth by blog too, as easiest for you, Debbie. Yours is certainly the nicest of blog-networks to be joining in! Louise x

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