It's 2016! And guess what . . .

I'M STILL HERE !!!!

Or as the wonderful Tom Lubbock called his account of the last part of his life, Until Further Notice, I am Alive.

Which is amazingly good news, from my perspective. To be able to wish you all a Happy New Year was something I had no real hopes of ever doing again 11 months ago, and the fact that I can not only do so, but do so feeling I have quite a bit of life still left is - well, it's brilliant, to be honest. Thank you being there to listen. And thanks being so much of the reason I'm still going strong.

I'm not going to lie, though; the last few weeks have been fairly challenging, and while Christmas Day itself was just lovely, I'm very glad to have got through the week following and back to something like normal. After a brain scan result on 14th Dec that was much more positive than we all feared (palliative radiotherapy had slowed everything down, and no more new tumours seemed to have appeared since October)  Dr Kumar, the brain oncologist, suggested that we have another little go at reducing my steroids after the festive season. Sadly, it didn't go too well . Perhaps it's partly that I fear coming off them as much as I'd love to come off them. After all, it would be nice to see my own body and face again under all this blubber.

Perhaps I just need a nice placebo. But whatever the reason, after a day without them, I just couldn't get up, and felt desperately sick. And then I was desperately sick.  But hey, no hair to have to hold back, eh? Silver linings!!

Thank God for Ellie and Mike, and my lovely District Nurses who always make everything better! Under the stairs we now have a special emergency medication bag which they keep supplies in for such times . . . normal prescription boxes but in neatly wrapped packages bearing messages such as "For Pain", "For Nausea" , and - my personal favourite - "For Anxiety" . I expect to open them and see brightly coloured potion bottles, like something from Alice in Wonderland - "EAT ME!" "DRINK ME!". "INJECT ME!" Which is exactly what the nurses do so well. No time at all and I was able to keep the second lot of medication down where it should be, and then .... I fell asleep. And I stayed asleep. For hours. And hours. In fact, I haven't spent so much time asleep for, well, months. I might have to read the bedsores book which came in my handy pack, and only just escaped the recycling bin - not so proud now are you Mrs?!

Special visitors at Daytime Hospice the week before Christmas.

And today it's a week later, and I managed to get to my weekly treat - Daytime Hospice! Which I realise doesn't necessarily sound like most people's idea of a weekly treat, but that's probably because you haven't tried it.  My lovely MacMillan nurse Heather referred me, and today has been my 3rd visit. I've been pampered, done some art, done armchair exercise to Glenn Miller and Tai Chi to - oh, what was it? Something suitably classical, anyway -  been fed beautiful, digestible food, spent time at the service in the peaceful little chapel, and had lovely chats with staff, volunteers and other patients. What's not to like???   In fact I like it so much, that while I was sitting in chapel the thought popped into my head "Maybe I could come and volunteer here when I'm better?" Which made me laugh, not to mention the unseen crowd of Saints and Angels, who quickly pointed out that if I intended getting as well as that, then I was holding a place under false pretences!

But I can live with the laughter of Saints and Angels. Especially when I didn't really expect to be here at this point at all.

Time for a little kip now. More soon . . .

Happy 2016 everyone xxxxxxx